In her book The Neuroscience of You: How Every Brain Is Different and How to Understand Yours, neuroscientist Chantel Prat, PhD, emphasizes that no two brains are alike. And while most of us fundamentally understand this, it's important to remember these differences when we work with others. She offers a few reminders for us:
- The more similarly two people's brains work, the more likely they are to be friends. Conversely, if we are trying to work with someone whose brain doesn't work like ours, we set ourselves up for misalignment-we make assumptions about that person's actions or behaviors based on how our brains would work. We need to work harder to understand those who are engineered differently than we are.
- Even if you have the tools to understand why someone behaves differently than you would, it doesn't mean that you will put in the effort to do so. Our brains are wired to only really be motivated to do this with our most important relationships. It takes effort to be more curious than judgmental about people who are not relatives or loved ones.
- Different perspectives come from different realities. Prat reminds us of the viral blue/black, white/gold dress phenomenon from a few years ago: people looking at the very same photo saw two completely different colored dresses. Turns out color perception is complicated and is related to previous experiences. But the lesson is this: people in both camps interpreted an objective reality differently.
For anyone who has ever wondered about a colleague: What in the world was she thinking? Prat notes, "At the end of the day, there are different types of normal and differences aren't necessarily better or worse-they're just different."
What other strategies have you found effective in working with others that approach things differently from you?
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Penny Schnarrs she/her
Director of Community Relations and Strategy
Association of American Medical Colleges
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